


Through the Lives, We Fall

by Ace_sama



Series: We'll Always Return to You [1]
Category: Le Fantôme de l'Opéra | Phantom of the Opera & Related Fandoms, Le Fantôme de l'Opéra | Phantom of the Opera - Gaston Leroux, Phantom of the Opera (2004), Phantom of the Opera - Lloyd Webber
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Asexual Character, Asexual Erik, F/M, M/M, Multi, The Erik/Madame Giry part is brief, Violent Deaths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-14 06:48:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13584573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ace_sama/pseuds/Ace_sama
Summary: When Christine died she was shocked to learn that she wouldn't be going to heaven, oh no. Instead her and Raoul are tasked to look over the soul of their third soulmate until they complete their mission. How can the insane musical genius, Erik, from their first life possibly be their soulmate? As they watch over his lives, they find out.





	1. Mission Given

**Author's Note:**

> Here we are! Another fanfic from me! It’s the one I hinted at in my last story so get ready for the feels since its some major character death, but don’t worry! It’s also reincarnation so they come back. Super excited about this and don’t forget to leave me comments for the chapter. It’s going to be a ride!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own POTO, they would all be happy if I did! 
> 
> Disclaimer: All asexuals are different and each have their own preferences just like anyone else in a different orientation. I am asexual. The Erik in this story is not the same as I am. 
> 
> Let’s begin!

Christine struggled to open her eyes. She felt weak but someone was calling her name. She thought the voice sounded familiar but her mind was foggy. Forcing herself to fight her weariness, she cracked her eyes open, the white light bright and her vision blurry. Above her, she saw the silhouette of a male figure, the same who was saying her name over and over. Finally, her vision cleared and she took a sharp breath in at recognizing who was with her.

“Raoul…” Christine whispered in awe.

She could not believe her husband was with her. The last time she had seen him was when he had to leave to deal with a job in London. While he was away, she had gotten sick and…

Christine frowned as she remembered. “Wait, what has happened? I was sick and didn’t think I would recover.”

“You did not.” Raoul answered with a sad grin.

Christine felt her eyes begin to water and she struggled to sit up. Raoul helped her. All around was white, but not the kind that made one’s eyes hurt, instead it was the kind that was relaxing and peaceful. However, it was strange that there was nothing in sight except for her and Raoul.

“Then, where am I? How are you here? Please tell me you’re not…” Christine begged. Part of her knew where she was, if Raoul’s last statement was any hint, but she did not want to know that he had also joined her so soon.

“Peace, Christine.” Raoul hushed to soothe. “I believe you already know where you are, but do not worry, your husband is alive and well. His time has not come yet.”

At Raoul’s words she froze, staring at the man who looked exactly like her husband but by his own admission was not. She made to move away and the Raoul lookalike let her crawl backwards a few feet while he remained on his knees in front of her.

“Who are you?” Christine demanded.

Not-Raoul smiled. “You may call me Castiel. I am an angel of the Lord.”

At the mention of the word angel, Christine’s mind went blank. She stared at Not Raoul—Castiel—suspiciously.

“Then why do you look like my husband?” she grilled.

Castiel put his hands up as if to placate her. “Humans cannot witness my true form, even in heaven, it is not a pleasant thing for the soul to see. I took the form of your husband to calm and help you with your transition. We angels often do that to make things easier.”

While Christine had her faith, it was strange talking to someone who looked like Raoul but was not him. However, with the sickness she endured, she knew that her life must have left her body. This white place was a factor that could not be ignored either.

“Wh—what is this transition?” Christine questioned, allowing herself to mentally admit that she was nervous.

Castiel nodded as if pleased. “For now, you have to wait for your husband to come here. It will not take long then—”

“What do you mean not take long?!” she interrupted with her fear at Raoul’s death.

“Peace.” Castiel commanded. “Time works differently in this realm. Your husband has many years yet, however, for you it will not feel like that. As I was saying, once he arrives the two of you will be sent on a mission. Only after this task is complete will you be able to enter heaven.”

Apparently one cannot sweat if one was in the heaven realm because Christine was sure that she would have begun to. The same went for her heartbeat, she did not feel it even though, if she was alive, it would have started pounding.

“What mission?”

“You would not believe how glad I am that you asked before accepting.” Castiel replied. Christine found his statement strange, was that not usually the case? “And no, people do not usually ask first. Their desire to enter heaven and their own arrogance causes them to say yes almost instantly every time.”

Oh, well that explained that.

“As for you mission, you and your husband are to be sent back to earth to watch over another soul. The two of you will be his guardians, one his ‘demon,’ the other his ‘angel.’ Think of it as being his conscious as towards the good and bad in the world.” Castiel informed her.

Christine frowned in confusion. “May I ask why we have to do such a thing in the first place? Is this with everyone who is to enter heaven?”

Castiel shook his head. “No, this is a special case. Let me ask you this, do you believe in soulmates?”

Christine nodded, thinking of Raoul, and Castiel continued. “You see, everyone has a soulmate. They do not always meet, but they are there. People are reincarnated until they meet with their soulmates so that they can be together in the afterlife. You and Raoul are soulmates, however, unlike most, you have a third. This soul has already passed on in life and has been reincarnated onto earth.”

“This soul we must watch over, it is our third? Why are we then not also to be reincarnated to meet with them in life?” Christine inquired, her mind shaken by the thought of having another soulmate. She knew without a doubt that Raoul was hers as she was his, but another? She could not imagine who could possibly make her and Raoul’s relationship any more filling then it already was.

“Yes, your third is exactly the soul you must watch over. And usually, yes, heaven would send you and your husband’s souls back to earth for you all to meet, but my people are not pleased with you and your husband at the moment.” Castiel stated grimly, Raoul’s eyes flashing with disappointment at her.

“What? Why?” Christine questioned alarmed.

“Because in your life you had all met each other already, but instead of coming together as one, the two of you denied your third, rejected him and caused his death prematurely.” Castiel explained with a frown. “It has been decided that as punishment, the two of you are given your mission. It is once it is completed that the three of you can enter heaven. If you cannot, you are dooming your third to an endless eternity of being reincarnated and the two of you will be there watching it.”

“B—but, what third? You say that we had met in this last life and rejected him. But, how were we suppose to know that he was supposed to be with us?! How were we—?” Christine asked frantically but was cut off.

Castiel’s mouth opened and out came a voice that sung a melody that did not sound anything like what Raoul sounded like. If Christine could feel her heart she knew it would have skipped a beat because she recognized that melody and voice. Even after years have passed since she had last heard it, she knew she could never forget it.

“Angel…” Christine whispered without realizing.

Castiel stopped singing and nodded. “Well, that was one thing you called him. Though I must admit that real angels sound nothing like that, our true voices can kill a human upon hearing it but for a comparison to what it might sound like if humans could, Erik is probably as close as one could get.”

 “Erik!” Christine exclaimed in disbelief as memories of the ‘phantom’ of the Opera Populaire came rushing forward in her mind. “The man who murdered innocent people and almost killed Raoul and Mr. Khan! The man who deceived me and then kidnapped me! He’s our third?!”

Castiel had the decently to look sheepish. “I do not choose who belongs with whom, but I admit that the circumstances behind his life did not help his growth at all.”

“He was insane!”

“And that was part of the debate as towards whether you should be punished or not.” Castiel informed her, looking straight into her eyes so intensely that Christine did not feel that she could blink. “But, the two of you could have helped him. If you had stayed, he would have gotten better, but you both left and Erik’s soul was here years before it should have been. It is bad enough when we get a soul prematurely because of general life circumstances, but to get one because of a soulmate’s rejection? That will always result in consequences.”

Christine could not believe what Castiel was telling her and looked away from the angel. Erik?! The deformed genius who was also a murderer. He was their third?!

“But his voice filled my spirit with a strange sweet sound.” Christine jerked her head back up at the sound of her own voice. Castiel was staring at her and it was obvious that he was the one who said the words. Christine vaguely recalled them as being what she had once told Raoul. That night, so many nights ago…

“In the night, there was music in my mind.” Castiel continued, it was eerie to hear her voice come from Raoul’s mouth. “And through music, my spirit began to soar.”

Christine forced herself to look away. “His voice was the only thing good about him and even that he used to hurt others.”

“I am not trying to argue that he did not.” Castiel stated back in Raoul’s voice. “I wanted to remind you that you held him with affection before and, dare I say, fondness.”

“Maybe.” Christine conceded. “It is hard to completely hate someone who showed you such devotion and admiration.”

“You never did, nor could hate him.” Castiel countered. “I believe that you and your husband were only able to see the dark parts of his soul and that is why the two of you turned away. However, if you can see the brilliance of that soul maybe the three of you have a chance.”

“Does he have any?” Christine could not help but ask as she turned to face her husband that was actually an angel.

Castiel nodded firmly. “During creation, my father had created a number of souls that shine brighter than others. While most souls, if a human were to see it, would appear in brightness like a star in the night. The souls that father had created special would appear to a human with the intensity of the sun in the sky. Your third is one of those souls.”

Part of Christine wanted to accuse the angel of lying, but what objective could he possibly have for lying to her? She went through her memories of the man, the one who acted as her angel but also as the opera ghost within the Opera Populaire. He was a strict teacher towards her but fair. She had dreamed of meeting her angel one day and when the time had finally come the dream had turned into a nightmare. She was repulsed by his face upon first looking at it and he demanded that she would be his bride. She had seen no escape from him without the help of her Raoul and that had almost ended in disaster with his death.

However, she had begged Erik, even kissed him to persuade him that she would stay with him if only he would allow Raoul and Mr. Khan to live. She could remember the look of wonder and disbelief in his golden eyes when she had pulled away from him. Erik had let all of them go after that, his only request that she wear his ring until he died, which he assured them that the wait would not be too long, and to bring it back to him. Christine had been worried at his words but took the chance to escape and agreed to his wish.

Just a few weeks after that dreadful night, there was an ad in the newspaper by Mr. Khan, stating that Erik was dead. Christine had almost kept the ring for herself, as a last memento from her insane genius. By that point, she had started to feel an emptiness inside her that she knew could have only been filled by her fake angel. However, Mr. Khan had shown up and together with Raoul, the three made their way to the Opera Populaire where Erik’s body rested.  She took in Erik’s dead body and forced herself to pull his ring off her finger and place it back on Erik’s limp one. She had walked out shortly later.

Since then, while she held him in her thoughts as the crazed genius, she could not help how her mind would every so often feel sadden by his demise. A small part of her heart remained with him no matter how much she had tried to get rid of it and/or replace it with her love for others.

Castiel had told her that Erik has been reincarnated. Maybe with this new life, he would not have to suffer like he did before. Maybe she could…

“I see you are accepting him.” Castiel cut into her thoughts.

Christine blinked and stared at him.

“Souls have a certain shade of color when they acknowledge their soulmates.” Castiel explained almost dismissingly. “The mission will not be an easy one. Being a guardian is harder than one might think. Depending on your role, you have different responsibilities.”

“How are we going to complete the mission? You said that we will be forced to remain what we are until it is finished but you have not told me what it is that we have to do.” Christine inquired.

Castiel shrugged. “I was not given permission to tell you. Not knowing the how is part of the punishment.”

Christine opened her mouth to protest but Castiel raised his hand to make her stop.

“I can tell you this.” He began. “The closer the two of you get at accomplishing your goal, you will gain certain abilities to help you along. However, it has to be done within one of Erik’s lifetimes. If you were able to make progress with him in one life, you will have to start over in the next one. For your sake, I hope the two of you never have to understand what that means.”

“This is sounding like it is going to be a lot more difficult than I believed.” Christine remarked to which Castiel smiled.

“It is a punishment for a reason.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bam! And it starts! Next chapter will be the beginning of things so be prepared! Next chapter will be in Christine’s POV again. Anyone recognize the angel? ;) 
> 
> Leave a comment! This is going to be fun!


	2. Guardians of Virtue and Sin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1925 - London

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to warn everyone because Erik’s is going to die in this, multiple times and they aren’t exactly the most pleasant ways of dying. But he does come back because, obviously, it’s a reincarnation fic. 
> 
> Comment Reply:  
> scoobyice8 - Thank you. :) You'll just have to read to find that out! Yes, I'm a Supernatural fan and I needed an angel for the story and thought 'Hey! I can use Castiel!' So that's what happened. 
> 
> Here we go.

Castiel was correct about one thing, time did work differently in this purgatory world that Christine was being kept in as she waited for Raoul to come to her. She felt that no time had passed at all before Raoul was with her. She almost doubted that time had moved on but Raoul appeared a few yards away from her a lot older than when she had seen him last. She was grateful that her husband was able to live such a long life. Before her eyes, Raoul turned from an old man to what he looked like when they had first gotten married. A young, healthy twenty-six year old.

Raoul had immediately opened his eyes and, upon seeing her, rushed to her. Tears made her vision blurry but she ran to him as well. They embraced and kissed, happy to be together once more. When they pulled back, Raoul’s smile was wide and his eyes sparkling.

“Too many years! How I missed you, Little Lotte!” Raoul exclaimed and Christine smiled brightly at him in return.

However, their reunion was cut short by Castiel. The angel was no longer wearing Raoul’s appearance but instead that of a woman with long black hair and shockingly blue eyes.

“I am sorry to have to cut this meeting but you must start your mission straightaway.” Castiel instructed them as she made her way to them.

“What mission?” Raoul inquired with a puzzled frown.

“You will know when you get there.” Was Castiel’s reply. Without waiting for either of them to speak, she reached up and touched both of their foreheads.

**1925 - London**

Christine blinked and the white place was gone. Instead, she was in a bare room that the only reason why Christine was able to make it as a bedroom was because of the messy single bed. The floor was covered with paper, and Christine took a closer look.

They were music sheets.

“No way!” she heard Raoul exclaim angrily and she turned back and saw her husband grip his head as if to pull his hair out.

Christine quickly went to him and attempted to pull his hands away. Raoul let her.

“That monster is our third?!” Raoul growled, meeting Christine’s eyes.

Christine froze, her hands enclosed around his wrists. Castiel did not lie when she said that he would know everything when they got here.

“Yes…” Christine whispered and Raoul broke out of her grip with a snarl.

She watched him pace the small bedroom and grumble to himself. It had been awhile since she had seen him this angry, yet she cannot say she could blame him. Raoul had a more disastrous relationship with Erik than she did. Not once did Erik harm her or even threatened too, Raoul on the other hand, Erik had tried to kill.

“He was reborn Raoul, he is not the same as he was.” Christine tried to calm him but he sent her a glare.

“You are defending him?! Once a monster, always a monster! I do not care if he is our supposed soulmate, I refuse to watch over him like some guardian!” Raoul spat out angrily and turned away from her.

Sighing, Christine went to the door. So much for a happy reunion. That sure ended fast.

She reached out for the doorknob but it turned as she was about to touch it. Panicked, Christine backed away and looked for a place to hide. There wasn’t one.

The door opened and a woman about her and Raoul’s new ages came in, half carrying a man around the same age. The man was looking down and the woman paid Christine nor Raoul any mind. The two new occupants stumbled their way to the bed and the woman dropped the man on it when they got close enough.

“Really, Erik. You need to stop getting into these fights, you’re not able to take a punch like you used to.” The woman scolded as she took a seat on the bed and Christine instantly zeroed in on the man lying on the bed.

The first thing she recognized were the familiar golden eyes that shone in the dimly lit room. The next was his deformed face that was almost exactly like how it was in their previous life. Christine heard Raoul let out a disgusted sound and grabbed his hand to prevent him from doing anything.

That did not stop him from speaking.

“Monster! You deserve whatever hits you received!” Raoul growled and Christine worried how the two would react to them.

However, nothing happened.

“They were flirting with a lady who obviously did not want their attentions.” Erik protested. “Plus, they insulted my face!”

The woman reached over and pinched Erik’s cheek, making the young man huff and turn his face away from her.

“No more fights.” The woman instructed firmly. “You are not a soldier anymore. The war has been over for years now.”

“Did you not hear me?!” Raoul stated, breaking away from Christine and going to the bed. He made to grab Erik.

His hand went right through him. Raoul quickly backed away, his eyes wide in shock.

“Yes, and look what that got me.” Erik grumbled bitterly to the woman. “I am practically homeless and no one is willing to hire someone with a busted leg and a face like mine. Bad for business.”

“You know I can help you, but you refuse to let me.” The woman stated with a frown.

Erik sighed and Christine was surprised when he took the woman’s hand in his and brought it to his lips to kiss.

“Dear Antoinette, you know I can never ask such a thing of you. I will be fine. Are I not always?” Erik stated as he put the woman’s hand back down.

Christine’s eyes widened. Mme. Giry?! Knowing now that she cannot be seen or heard, Christine moved to the other side of the bed and took a closer look at the woman. She did look remarkably like the Opera Populaire’s deceased dance instructor. At least a younger version of her.

Antoinette rolled her eyes and took her hand out of Erik’s grip. “How many times have I found you beaten and left for dead in an alleyway? You would probably have died years ago without me.”

“I do not doubt it.” Erik admitted and Christine blinked at the warmth in his tone.

This was not the Erik she remember in her life. This one was completely different.

She turned to stare at the music sheets scattered around the floor. I suppose there are some things that never change, she thought.

Antoinette smiled. She leaned down and pressed her lips to Erik’s forehead in a kiss then stood up.

“Get some rest. I’ll be returning to check on you in the morning. You better be here.”

Erik smiled cheekily at her. “And if I’m not?”

Antoinette raised one of her eyebrows at him. “I do not think you will want to find that out.”

And with that, she left the room and closed the door behind her.

Christine continued to watch Erik as he shifted on the bed to get more comfortable. Once he did, he closed his eyes and drifted off into sleep.

“This is going to be such a pain!” Raoul groaned.

Christine turned around to face him. He was curled up in the corner, his head pressed to his knees. With a sigh in defeat, Christine went to him and sat down on the floor next to him.

“Probably.” Christine acknowledged.

“What’s worse is that we do not even know how to fix this! How are we supposed to make any plans without knowing anything?” Raoul asked, not lifting his head.

“Well, it is a punishment.”

Sighing in exasperation, Raoul finally lifted his head. He sent a glare to the sleeping Erik on the bed.

“Yes, our third soulmate tried to kill me and kidnapped you yet we are the ones being punished. How does that work?”

“Castiel told me that if we had stayed he would have gotten better.” Christine informed him. He snorted and she continued. “In a way, he’s also being punished. He has to live life after life without the chance of moving on from earth. Each life different, none remembered.”

Raoul turned to her. “Fine, that does sound like a frustrating position to be in. However, that still does not mean that I want to help him!”

Christine figured as much.

The years went by and Christine and Raoul remained at Erik’s side, not that he noticed their presence.

Sometimes, there would be moments when Christine believed that Erik could hear them, most of the time it was when she was singing. The first time she had decided to sing to herself, Raoul was asleep and Erik was working on the floor of his bedroom, writing out music sheets, tapping his fingers as if playing an imagined piano. Christine had read the lyrics and the music and decided to sing it to hear how it sounded with her voice. When she did, Erik had paused in his writing and looked up with a frown. Christine immediately stopped in her shock and Erik had shaken his head and went back to work. Believing that she might be able to communicate with him after all, she began to sing again but Erik did not look back up. Every once in a while, Christine would try again and there were times when she would see Erik frowning in confusion, trying to pinpoint the sound he was hearing and other times no reaction was given.

Erik never became known for his music but every so often he was able to sell a small piece for money to get food. His living was very simple and Christine thought it was a pity compared to the underground sanctuary he had built under the Opera Populaire. Antoinette was a constant visitor in Erik’s life. It was obvious that they were good friends. Christine would wonder if they would be more but then Antoinette married and Erik accepted the marriage with a huge smile.

He got into a lot of trouble with other people. Mostly they were men who went to bars and liked to drink themselves silly. Their attitudes would get obnoxious and unwanted. But Erik, with his busted leg, would enter a fight with no hesitation.

It was this that led to his death seven years after Christine and Raoul got there mission.

Erik was with Antoinette and the two of them were walking down a street at night to return the lady back home. A group of three men came out of a bar and spotted the two of them. The men were obviously drunk, even Raoul watched them stumble with a look of distaste. The three went after Erik and Antoinette and made the attempt at taking Antoinette away from Erik, which was a mistake.

Erik grabbed the man who tried to get a hold of Antoinette and threw him into the wall where the guy crashed to the ground. The other two got angry and went for Erik and was able to grab both of his arms. As he struggled, Erik yelled for Antoinette to run, which, after a concerned look to her friend, she did. Erik continued to struggle under the weight of the two men and the third stumbled to his feet and made his way over. The three then proceeded to beat Erik with their fists and when he went to the ground they used theirs legs.

Christine felt the fury raise in her at the sight and when she felt like she was going to burst, she screamed.

The next second, Erik let out a shout filled with rage and lunged at one of the men. He was able to knock the man down and Erik’s golden eyes glowed with violence as he punched the man over and over again as hard as he could.

“Christine!” Raoul shouted as he grabbed her shoulders and shook her to get her attention.

She hissed at him and fought his grip.

Raoul slapped her.

Christine blinked, the anger she felt disappearing almost instantly. She let out a shaky breath and stared at Raoul who was looking at her in worry. She heard a grunt behind her and whipped her head around.

Behind her, the three men were standing around Erik who was on his knees clutching his chest in bewilderment.

A blade was implanted deeply in the center of his chest.

“No!” Christine whispered horrified.

“That’s what you get for messing with us.” One of the men growled.

He went to Erik and pulled the knife out, as he did Erik let out a broken gasp then collapsed on the sidewalk.

“NO!” Antoinette’s voice cried and a whistle was blown.

The three men looked up to see Antoinette running towards them and had two cops following behind her.

“Run!” one of the three men yelled and they took off.

The two cops chased after them and Antoinette rushed to Erik’s side where her knees buckled. Christine also went to his side and watched as a crying Antoinette rolled Erik’s body over and tried to stop the bleeding with her hands.

“Anton…” Erik whispered, his eyes becoming glazed and his breath struggling to go through his lungs.

“Shh! Do not speak!” Antoinette hurried to say. “You will be fine! It is but a scratch!”

Erik’s lips curled upwards in a gloomy smile.

“It does not feel like one.” Erik struggled to say, blood dripped from the corner of his mouth and his eyes watered. “I will be fine my dear, are I not always?”

Erik blinked and a twin set of tears rolled down the sides of his head. With one last gasp of air, Erik ceased breathing.

Antoinette let out a sob and with shaky hands, she closed Erik’s blank eyes. When she noticed that the blood on her hand left a trail on his eyes, she let out an angst whimper and slumped over Erik’s lifeless body to cry.

Christine’s heart ached at the sight of a broken Antoinette. She had loved the Madame in her life and had grown to love this reincarnation as well. She understood what it was like to lose a loved one and it never got easier. 

Christine lifted her head and saw Raoul standing a few yards away with a somber expression. She knew that Raoul did not like Erik, but he would never wish for his death to be this way and especially not at the expense of protecting a loved one.

“This is my fault.” Christine whispered brokenly as she stood from Erik’s side.

“What do you mean?” Raoul whispered back softly.

Christine wiped her tears away and gestured towards Antoinette and Erik. “I’m the ‘demon’ guardian and I had taken on the sin of wrath. If I had been able to control my anger better he would still be—”

“Now enough of that.” Raoul hushed gently, placing his hands on her arms. “You could not have known that we have that much influence over him. I certainly did not. And if we did know and you were able to control it, Erik could very well still have loss his life tonight. Those men did not look like they were going to let him go easily.”

Christine let out a shaky breath and turned back to look at the sobbing Antoinette and the lifeless Erik.

“Either way, because I have the seven sins, I have to make sure that next time I will be able to keep myself in check. I do not want something like this happening again.” Christine declared.

Raoul pulled her into his arms and they stayed like that until they blinked out of the earth realm. They would wait in purgatory for Erik to be reborn, then they would return to watch over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins! Life one is down! And there’s more where that came from! Hope you enjoyed it and don’t hate me too much already…because that’s only going to increase. Next chapter is a general chapter and is really short but needed. Leave a comment with your thoughts!


	3. Common Occurrence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Four things always happened in Erik’s life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment Reply:  
> scoobyice8 - Thank you! Yes, you should probably get used to it, because it's a repeat, that's for sure. Yep! Erik was a soldier! Glad you liked it. I'm still waiting for them to bring Gabriel back on Spn.

Four things always happened in Erik’s life.

One, he was always deformed. At one point in between lives while Raoul and Christine waited in Purgatory, Christine had asked about that to the angel Castiel. The angel replied that sometimes her father gave the specifically bright souls an obvious weakness. For Erik, it was his deformity. Raoul had scoffed at the idea of Erik being one of the sun like souls but Castiel had shown them a regular human soul that had been making its way to heaven. It was bright in her hands but they could look at it. Castiel was able to get permission from her superiors and then showed them Erik’s soul before it was to be sent back to earth.

They had to cover their eyes and turn away from the intensity of the light it radiated.

Two, Erik always grew up without a father and had a mother who hated him. Christine had told Raoul that Erik’s first life was like that as well. Though the reasons why Erik did not have a father were different in the different lives, he was always gone before Erik reached the age of six. His mother also always hated Erik for his face. Raoul had to admit that he pitied Erik a little for that. He had both of his parents in his life and they had both loved him. Of course sometimes they would favor Philippe as the older son but that was nothing like what Erik had to endure. Raoul also had suspicions that Christine felt empathy towards Erik because she had grown up without her mother and her father had died at an earlier age. It was not exactly like Erik’s circumstances but it was more than Raoul. What was worse was having to watch a younger Erik always try to win his mother’s love before he eventually realized that he would never get it and stopped trying.

Three, Erik was always a genius. Each life, Erik had a gift with everything he set his mind too. Raoul had to admit to feeling a little jealous at such intelligence but Erik always remained unrecognized. While that bothered Erik more in some lives than others, he was able to go through his lives humble. He would always try to use what he learned to make things better for others, majority of the time it was for Antoinette and Nadir Khan—who were surprisingly repeat appearances in Erik’s lives. His ability to grasp and learn things was uncanny but he always had a natural talent towards music. His voice becoming the most enchanting thing Raoul has ever heard through the years.

Four, somehow, Erik always regained possession of his old ring. The golden band ring that held an onyx in its center that Erik had given to Christine to wear in their first lives until he died. It was amazing because they had thought it to be buried with Erik’s first body, but apparently that was no longer the case. Even in Erik’s first life that Raoul and Christine became his guardians over he had it. He had not worn it on his finger but instead on a chain around his neck next to his dog tags. Raoul believed that to be a clever thing because it had kept the ring hidden beneath his clothes and not seen by the possible thief. In each life, somehow, that ring made its way back to its first owner. And each time it appeared in front of its master, Erik would get a nostalgic look on his face before blinking and returning to normal.

But he would always take the ring with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short but it needed to be done. Kind of the general info that I didn’t want to state in every life. Next chapter will be in Raoul’s POV and be ready for more pain. See ya next time.


	4. Soldiers’ Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1934-1944 – Leningrad (St. Petersburg)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment Reply:   
> scoobyice8 - Hmm, thank you! :) I wasn't expecting a comment for that one, glad you did though. No! Don't say anything about Supernatural! I'm a few episodes behind! *covers ears* lol

**1934-1944 – Leningrad (St. Petersburg)**

When Erik was reborn next and Raoul and Christine were sent back to earth the first thing that Raoul noticed was snow. The next thing he noticed was the sound of a woman screaming in the background.

Christine immediately left him to go towards the sound and Raoul trailed behind. Raoul realized they were in a small house that did not look at all safe to live in. Was that a rat?

Shuddering, Raoul went where he had seen Christine enter a room. He went inside and there, on a dirty bed, laid the young woman who had been screaming. She was giving birth and who Raoul believed to be her husband was holding her hand trying to give her support. At the woman’s feet was a midwife, giving the woman firm instructions. The woman gasped and pushed and Raoul turned to Christine and saw the curiosity in her expression. It made sense. Christine had died before she was able to have any children and never had to go through the process of childbirth. Raoul’s own nose twitched at the smell of the room.

Childbirth was sure messy.

The woman gave one last scream and push and a baby came out crying. The man instantly began to soothe the tired woman and the midwife gathered the baby in a blanket, cutting the cord that connected baby and mother, and carried it over to a large bucket to be washed.

Suddenly the midwife let out a sharp curse and almost dropped the baby. The man immediately demanded what was wrong and the pale midwife explained that their son was cursed. Mother and father both scoffed and the man stood and went to the midwife, almost yanking the baby out of her arms and growled instructions to take care of his wife. The shaken midwife went to the mother and the man looked down at the baby wrapped in the blanket.

The man’s eyes widened and he took in a sharp breath. Curious, Raoul went to his side and looked down.

Yes, Erik was as monstrous looking as ever. The deformity was more grotesque on an infant since they were supposed to be the picture of innocence and purity.

This baby looked more like a devil’s spawn than anything else.

However, once the first initial shock was over, the new father took Raoul by surprise by smiling.

“What nonsense of a curse. My son is beautiful.” The man cooed to the baby, who had fallen silent. The infant’s eyes opened and intense gold eyes blinked at the man, who grinned in reply and began to wash his son.

“Erik. Your name shall be Erik and you will grow to be a strong man.” The father declared.

In disbelief, Raoul backed away from the man who was able to love such a face. He shot a glance at Christine and saw her eyes tearing up but her lips curled upwards in a smile…

Erik’s mother did not like the appearance of her son. She had screamed herself hoarse when the father had presented her son to her, the midwife suggested that they leave the baby to nature because it could not be something from this earth. The father protested and eventually won the fight, though he was the one to take care of Erik’s first years because his mother refused to go near him. The new parents got into arguments constantly because of it and Christine would always try to distract Erik when they did lest the child figure out that he was hated by his mother.

Sadly, for Christine, her ability to influence Erik was not always there and Raoul stayed as far from the child as he could get without leaving Christine. Most of the time she tried to sing to Erik and sometimes the boy would look up and follow the voice that sang to him, away from his fighting parents. Other times it did not work and Erik would end up curled in a corner of the room crying silently. Christine would continuously get distraught at the sight and Raoul could not understand her actions. Reincarnated or not, it was still the same person as the one from their first lives. Same soul, and if Erik could end up like that in one life, he can do it again.

Erik’s father homeschooled Erik, as he did not want his son to be bullied because of his appearance. Because of this, he soon realized that Erik could pick up everything he taught him easily and surpass him. He began to bring Erik books for him to teach himself and learn.

When Erik was five, his father had to join the military and left his son with the mother who despised him. Raoul listened to the talk on the streets outside the small house. People were scared because of a man in Germany, but others argued that there was no need to worry because there was peace between them and Germany.

When Erik was seven, war broke out and a few months later, the city was under siege.

In one of the attacks in the first months, Erik’s house was bombed. Erik had not been present but his mother had been. Raoul watched as Erik ran down the street and, as he spotted his collapsed home, tried to run faster. Upon getting there, Erik continuously called out for his mother, trying to get through the rumble. At the desperation in his tone, Raoul turned away from the sight, feeling uncomfortable, he spotted Christine crying next to him. Eventually, Erik was dragged away by a soldier, who Raoul shockingly recognized as Nadir Khan! An older teen version of him, but Raoul knew it was him. Nadir took Erik to a civilian man. The man was elderly and could not join the military but his house was filled with children of various ages who had also lost their homes and parents to the war.

After taking up residence in the man’s home, Erik went out and searched for Nadir. Raoul did not know the boy’s intentions at first but when Erik spotted the teen among a group of soldiers, Erik ran up to him and hugged him. Nadir was, of course, shocked at the appearance of the child but recognized him. Nadir allowed Erik to spend the day with him and his group. The other soldiers were surprised by Erik’s face but asked him questions about himself and fed him. Erik was shy at first from all the attention but opened up. After he was fed, he told them that he wanted to thank them and offered to sing to them.

The soldiers were extremely curious as to why that would be the offer but accepted.

Erik closed his eyes and sung.

The melody was smooth and his voice rang through the room they were in. Almost instantly, everyone in the room quieted at the sound and stared at the boy whom the angel like voice was coming from. Raoul was enchanted, sure he has heard Erik sing before but never with this much passion. Most of the time it had been to calm himself down during the fights between his parents, but this?

This had Erik’s soul in it.

When Erik finished he let the last note linger before stopping completely. He opened his eyes and blushed at the sight of everyone staring at him. The silence stayed and Erik appeared more and more uncomfortable but then Nadir stood up from his chair. He slowly began to clap and Erik’s head jerked up at the sound. Soon everyone in the entire room was clapping enthusiastically and cheering, some were wiping their eyes.

Raoul had to admit that the beaming smile Erik gave everyone was charming.

From then on, Erik would sing. He would go to Nadir and follow the teen around. Nadir told him that he had to wait for him to be done with his shift, to which Erik did sulking. Once Nadir was done, he would take Erik to the places the other soldiers liked to visit where a child could go. Eventually, he was allowed within the hospital wing where all the soldiers were taken to for injuries. Erik would sing in these places and soon he became known around Leningrad as the “soldiers’ angel.” Nadir had been the one to tell Erik the nickname and then laughed at Erik’s blushing face.

He became easily recognized by all the soldiers on the street and would constantly be given tokens.

Nadir took on the role as Erik’s big brother. The siege of the city continued and once every attack cleared, Nadir was seen shortly after to check on Erik, much to the younger’s relief and delight.

Somehow, it was Nadir who was the reason why Erik got his ring back in that life.

Nadir had allowed Erik to spend the night with him in the barracks. By then, all the command in Leningrad knew who Erik was, so allowed the boy to spend time with the soldiers. Raoul personally believed that the officers were using Erik as a way to keep the lower ranks in line, but he was also sure that if, for any reason, Erik was no longer allowed to come, the soldiers would find a way to sneak him in.

Erik was lying curled up against Nadir’s chest and the two were softly speaking to each other since the others were sleeping.

“I think I have something you’ll like.” Nadir whispered.

“Are you going to teach me another one of your people’s songs? I like those.” Erik guessed softly.

Nadir shook his head and pulled back to reach into his pocket. They were lying with a foot of space in between them and Nadir brought his hand up for Erik to see what was in his hand. Raoul recognized the item and his breath took a sharp intake of air. Next to him, he heard the same thing happened to Christine.

“A ring?” Erik frowned in confusion. He reached up and took the onyx ring from Nadir and squinted at it in the darkness.

“Yes, one of the soldiers from London had it. For some reason, when I saw it I immediately thought of you. He let the ring go for a small sum.” Nadir explained sheepishly.

“It…looks familiar, but I do not know why.” Erik whispered back. He looked up from the ring to stare at Nadir. “You did not have to spend your money on something that probably cost you a lot more then what you are admitting.”

“It’s worth it.” Nadir countered warmly. “Just promise me that you’ll always keep it. I want you to live a long life wearing it. Maybe someday, you’ll be able to give it to your son.”

Erik snorted, but put the ring in his pocket.

When Erik was ten, things became a disaster.

Erik had been spending the night with Nadir again when the alarm went off. Immediately, Nadir and the other soldiers woke up and began to get ready for the attack. Erik woke up panicked and was quickly ushered by Nadir and a couple other soldiers from the barracks and into the hospital wing. Christine wrapped herself around a distressed Erik, singing gently to him after Nadir had ran off to go to his post. Raoul stood a few feet away and watched outside through the window.

In the last life, Christine had discovered that she could, not touch Erik directly, but somehow sort of touch the air around him. Erik would not react much the times Christine came close to him, only small things like a confused frown or a slight shift of his body, but it was enough to make Christine beam every time he did. Raoul could not do the same and Christine had pointed out that maybe it was because he did not accept Erik as their third. Castiel did tell them that as they got closer to what their mission involved, they would gain abilities to help them along. The two of them had gotten into a huge fight that time.

“Angel.” One of the soldiers lying on the bed called out. Erik lifted his head and saw the soldier gesture towards the room. “Come, sing us a song. It’ll ease the nerves and provide a distraction.”

Erik nodded and took a deep breath. Closing his eyes, he opened his mouth and began singing. Raoul turned and watched as everyone in the room began to relax, as if they were in a completely separate world then the one being bombed outside. Raoul saw Christine grinning softly as she watched Erik sing, her own eyes taking on a glazed look. Raoul had to turn away. He tried to block out the sound of Erik’s voice but could not, and forced himself to confess bitterly that a part of him did not want to.

Erik’s voice was far to entrancing.

Suddenly, an explosion rocked the building and Erik was jolted back into awareness. Quickly, he raced to the window, ending up right next to where Raoul was standing and pressed his face to glass.

“Angel, get away from there!” one of the soldiers instructed. One of the nurses went to Erik and tried to pull him away but Erik was the one who jerked back as if stung.

Another explosion rocked the building and both Erik and the nurse fell to the floor. Pieces of the ceiling fell and landed around the room.

“Someone get Angel out of here! The buildings going to collapse!” another soldier yelled.

Raoul felt a rush of panic and went to Erik to grab him. But, his hand went right through the boy and Raoul let out a grunt in frustration. Luckily, the nurse got herself together and began to pull Erik to his feet. They hurried towards the door.

“He’ll make it!” Christine stated, though her voice sounded hysterical.

However, a third explosion went off and this time it hit the room they were in. Debris shot everywhere and before Raoul could register what had happened the ceiling fell on top of everyone.  

Of course, it went right through him and Christine but Christine let out a gasp of horror and tried to go to Erik. However, it was impossible because they could not touch anything except each other so she could not hope to move the rubble.

The rubble Erik was buried under.

“But, he was too young!” Christine cried in dismay. “He shouldn’t have died here!”

Raoul went to her and wrapped his arms around her.

“I know.” He hushed as she cried in his arms. “I know.”

Raoul felt remorse as well. Part of him still hated Erik, but for a child to lose their life…it was not right. Raoul will mourn for the child who became the “soldiers’ angel.”

Unlike the last time where they had entered purgatory within a couple minutes, they stood over the ruined building for hours, the bombing of Leningrad continuing around them. Eventually the attack stopped and everyone began to bring their injured to the building. However, when it was discovered that the hospital wing was gone, orders were shouted and the soldiers began to dig out those underneath.

There were no survivors.

Fifteen soldiers and three nurses were killed and then there was Erik.

When someone pulled Erik’s limp body from the rumble, cries of despair filled the air. That was when Nadir showed up.

He came running from nowhere and took in the collapsed building. Upon spotting one of the soldiers carrying Erik’s body out, Nadir rushed to him. He made the other soldier stop and took Erik’s head in his hand, calling his name frantically. Nadir refused to see the blood all over the child’s body, the crushed limbs hanging lifelessly. Almost aggressively, Nadir took the body away from the other soldier then fell to his knees sobbing. Clutching Erik’s body in his arms, he rocked back and forth, giving into his grief.

Raoul watched all of this through misty eyes and Christine watched with blurred vision as tears streamed down her cheeks.

It was only as Nadir pulled Erik’s ring out from where it hung on a chain around his neck and clenched it in his fist did Raoul and Christine blink out to return to purgatory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> …yeah, so that just happened. I did say the pain shall return in this chapter. I would normally say that I hoped you enjoyed it, but I’m not sure that’s appropriate? Anyway, let me know your thoughts in the comments! Next chapter is in Raoul’s POV, see ya next time.


	5. Black Despair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1948-1965 – Berlin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment Reply:  
> scoobyice8 - Thank you! I'm extrememly happy that i got such a reaction and your comment was lovely to read! I'm glad that you like Nadir! 
> 
> (￣▽￣) - Awesome! I got tears! Well teary eyes, but still great! :) Whoa, first time teary eye over fanfic? I'm flattered! Thank you for the lovely comment! 
> 
> ***All readers for this chapter. *Possible Trigger Warning: Suicide. For those that don’t want to read it I put a * to begin and end the scene. The first line after is pretty important but the act of what Erik did is done. Hope I did this right, never had to do this before. 
> 
> Anyway, on with the story.

**1948-1965 – Berlin**

Raoul found the place of Erik’s next life to be ironic. It was the same country that his previous life’s country had fought in the war. This time, Erik was not poor, quite the opposite in fact. But, his father died before he was born and his mother hated him on sight. As soon as she first laid eyes on her newborn she had let out a shriek of horror and demanded that the baby be sent away from her. The doctor had begged the new mother to feed her son but she refused and the doctor was forced to call for a wet nurse. From the very beginning things were not pleasant for Erik and it only went downhill from there.

It was the first time after their first lives that Erik was forced to wear something to cover his deformed face.

Raoul figured it had something to do with their position, it would not do for the sole heir to be revealed as such a monster in appearance. A mask was made for Erik and he was forced to wear it all the time. The only occasions he was allowed to take it off was at night in the confinement of his room. Every night, Erik would eagerly rip the restraining mask from his face then would go to bed. Christine hated the fact that he had to wear the mask, which should not have taken Raoul as much surprise as it did. They had gotten into another fight because of it. Their relationship was far from what it used to be and Raoul could not help but bitterly blame it on Erik since he was the reason they were there in the first place. Christine watched over Erik and Raoul observed from a distance.

Erik became a musical genius again. His mother paying for piano lessons, to which his instructor confessed within a couple years that he could not teach Erik anymore because he had learned everything there was to learn. Raoul believed that Erik’s mother was pleased with that, but over the years refused to be in the same room as her son. Erik, the ever loving son, tried countless times to win his mother’s affection but in vain. When he was a toddler, he had discovered that she enjoyed his voice as he sung and used it to his advantaged. He would sit on the floor to his mother’s bedroom and would sing to her through the closed door.

One time, Raoul was curious and stepped through the door to see the woman’s reaction to her son’s singing. He found her sitting at her dresser, combing her hair. Her back was to him, but he saw her expression in the mirror and it was one of peace. As she brushed her hair, she swayed back and forth slowly and was even humming the song Erik was singing! But then Erik stopped, giving up for the night, and the woman blinked as if coming out of a trance and scowled at herself in the mirror. She slammed the hairbrush onto the dresser and stood up with a look of disgust.

Raoul walked out of the room with his own expression of repulsion on his face, but this one was not towards Erik.

Erik was homeschooled the first years of his life but then sent off to a boarding school, to which even Raoul knew was a mistake. He had thoughts that Erik’s mother was purposely sending him away to not have any chance of being in his presence. When he told Christine his beliefs, she agreed.

School was terrible for Erik. He came in when he was eleven, but took exams that placed him ahead a couple years. A lot of the other children did not like having a younger among them and Erik spent the school years being bullied harshly. His roommate had tried to help him, but when he had gotten beaten up as a result, he stopped trying. Erik constantly had bruises on him, and he would frequently fight to keep his mask on. The other students already did not like him because of his intelligence, they did not need another excuse to torment him because of his face.

Music was Erik’s sole sanctuary through the years. By the time he was fifteen, he graduated from the boarding school but he could not return home.

A wall had been built and Erik had been on the wrong side of it.

Erik found a miserable job working at a factory to make money, but the hours were long and the pay was low. He stayed up longer to write his music, but no one wanted to buy it because everyone was struggling to get by.

These conditions were the reason Erik got his ring back in the spring of his sixteenth birthday.

Erik had been desperate and had robbed a nicely dressed man. Luckily, the robbing was clean and Erik got away safely. As he had gone through the things he took, he hands froze over an onyx ring that Raoul recognized instantly. Erik carefully picked up the ring as if the slightest pressure would cause it to explode and brought it close to his eyes for a better look. He squinted at it for a couple moments then, like an old habit, he causally slide the ring onto his left pinkie finger.

The place Erik used to wear it in his first life.

Raoul watched Erik look down at the ring, spinning it slowly on his pinkie with a thoughtful frown. For a second, Raoul could have sworn that Erik had remembered something about his past lives but then Erik sighed and stood up to get ready for work. The moment was gone.

Months went by and Raoul took notice that Erik slowly became more and more withdrawn. Everything he did became routine and without any emotion except weariness.

“Please help me, Raoul!” Christine had implored him one night as Erik was sleeping. Erik was seventeen and still living in unhealthy conditions. “Something is wrong! He’s not talking, hardly eating and doesn’t even look at his music anymore!”

“What do you expect me to do?” Raoul grumbled, not wanting to talk about helping in any way that favored Erik. Pity was not enough for him.

“You’re his ‘angel’ guardian! Use the virtues to influence him! I’ve already tried the sins and none of them worked!”

“Unlike you, I don’t know how to influence him.” Raoul countered. “It probably wouldn’t work.”

“Try!” Christine commanded with a fierce glare.

Raoul sighed, but got up from his spot in the corner of the room. He was glad that a perk of not actually having a body meant that he could sleep anywhere without having to worry about soreness. He wondered over to where Erik slept on his bed, curled up into a ball and facing the wall. Trying to think of which virtue to use, Raoul eventually settled on diligence. It might make Erik more interested in his music again.

With that in mind, Raoul placed his hand over Erik’s head and tried to concentrate on the virtue.

Suddenly, his mind zeroed in on what he was doing, as if the only thing that matter in his life was influencing Erik. Startled by the feeling, Raoul broke the connection and fell backwards to get away from Erik.

“Raoul?” Christine asked, coming to his side with a worried frown.

“Ah, I think it worked.” Raoul shook his head to try to clear his thoughts. “Is that what it always feels like? It’s like you’re the embodiment of whatever you’re trying to influence him with.”

Christine nodded. “Strange, isn’t it? You get used to it.”

Raoul snorted. “Don’t count on it.”

Raoul went back to sleep and was later awakened by Christine’s scream.  

He jerked upright and wildly looked around to find Christine. He spotted her at the door of the bathroom with her hand out in front of her. Looking disheveled, Christine felled to her knees and Raoul rushed to her.

*

“Erik…” she whispered and Raoul glanced up and what he saw cause him to breathe in sharply through his nose.

On his knees in the bathroom, Erik was gripping a blade tightly in one hand. He was shaking and his hand was bleeding from the grip of the blade.

“Sloth.” Christine informed Raoul and she raised her hand again towards Erik.

Erik slouched forward, his eyelids dropping down but he shook his head viciously and forced himself upright. The razor was raised and Erik slit his throat within a second.

“No!” Christine cried and jumped out of Raoul’s grip to go to Erik.

Erik’s body collapsed on the floor with blood pouring out of his neck. He landed on his back and Raoul had a full view of Erik struggling, blood seeping out of his mouth and his body twitching. Christine was at his side, uselessly trying to touch him but she could not which in turn made her more frustrated and cry harder.

*

“Christine…”

Raoul’s head jerked up at the gurgled sound that sounded like Christine’s name and saw Christine’s opened mouth in shock as she looked down at Erik.

Whose golden eyes were focused directly on her.

However, the moment was lost because before Christine could get her bearing again, Erik’s body became motionless, the golden eyes glassy and unseeing.

The next second they were no longer with Erik’s body in the bathroom but instead in purgatory.

A livid Castiel stood in front of them.

“You!” she growled at them. “This is the second time Erik’s soul came to us before it’s time and again it was your fault!”

Raoul hurried to his feet and went to an upset Christine to help her up.

“How could it have been our fault?!” Raoul demanded once they were both standing. “What could we have—?”

“He was suffering from depression!” Castiel snarled, cutting Raoul off. “All you had to do was get him through two more years and he would have seen Nadir again, but instead you influenced him and he committed suicide!”

“But I tried to help him!” Raoul protested.

Castiel glared at them, the intensity of those blue eyes made Raoul want to take a step back. “Yes, but it was not because you wanted to, it was because you were asked to. You did not truly care for your third, therefore, your negative feelings got mixed with the influence. Plus, you used the virtue of diligence which gives one the strength to go through with one’s actions. Because you did not focus the virtue on anything specific, and along with your negative thoughts, it took the form of Erik’s thinking of taking his own life.”

Horrified that it was his fault that Erik took his life, Raoul fell to his knees. He stared down at his hands like they were not his. He had caused a death.

“But how could he have known that?!” Christine argued in Raoul’s defense. “We don’t know all the rules here! We’re trying our best!”

“You’re trying your best.” The angel growled. “Your partner, however, has done exactly the opposite. He has let the bitter feelings he holds towards your third as priority and refuses to forgive. At the rate the two of you are going, Erik’s soul will be forced to continuously go through different lives and the two of you will be stuck watching it.”

Raoul gulped at the thought of being stuck on earth for all eternity. Stuck with being there on earth but also being in a position that made it impossible to live in it.

Abruptly, Castiel’s shoes came into his vision and then the angel went to her knees in front of him. Raoul looked up and his eyes met the intense blue ones.

“I need you to look back on Erik’s previous lives.” Castiel instructed without blinking. “Forget about the one the three of you shared and focus only on the ones that you watched over him. Can you look back on them without letting your hatred get in the way?”

“I—” Raoul faltered, not wanting to lie to her. “I don’t know.”

Castiel nodded as if that was the answer she was expecting. She lifted her hand to his forehead but did not touch him.

“I can help you with that. For a brief moment, I can take away your negative emotions towards your third and it will allow you to see him as how you should have seen him.”

Raoul hesitated again. Did he want that? Could he go from being free of his bitterness towards the man and have this experience only to have it come back to him once it was finished? Part of him has long since hated himself for not being able to forgive, but it was harder to do then most think. The man who had almost killed him was long gone, but the soul remained and Raoul was in charge of watching over it.

He stared at Castiel, who waited patiently with her arm in the air a few inches in front of his forehead. Maybe this would help him…

“Okay.” Raoul whispered, not able to say it any louder.

Giving him no time to regret, Castiel touched his forehead and Raoul’s mind was thrown back into his memories of Erik’s past three lives.

The first when they had come into Erik’s life after he was already a grown man. A man who had permanently injured his leg fighting for his country and would rush into a fight without hesitation if someone was being bullied. His obvious love for Antoinette and how he teased and protected her like one would a younger sister yet they weren’t related. His cheeky grin and the spark he got in his eyes when he came up with something particularly clever.

The second life that was all too short. The child’s obsession with learning. His devotion to his mother who hated him and his curiosity about life. His fascination over Nadir and their relationship in general. How he was able to pull such strong fondness from the other soldiers. His survival skills at going through war as a child yet able to put on such shy but charming smile when praised. The child who became the “soldiers’ angel.”

The third life that was also short and it being his fault. The life that was like the others in its hardship but that of a different kind. His persistence as a child who tried to receive his mother’s attentions and the endurance he maintained with his life at the boarding school. Erik’s determination to get through each and every day, believing things would eventually get better.

And in all of these, the one thing that was always present in these lives were his love for music. Such wonderful music Erik was able to create in all of these lives. Whether it was by writing, playing, or singing, Erik did it all and each and every time his audience was captivated by him. The memories of Erik’s music flowed and Raoul became overwhelmed by such greatness. Erik’s voice was forever enchanting and like a siren to all who hear it. The beauty of it, the smoothness.

The power of it.

Raoul let out a gasped as Castiel withdrew her hand from him. Blinking rapidly, he looked up at Castiel as she stood up.

“That is how Erik’s soul was supposed to be view as. Those are all your thoughts and feelings, but without your hatred.” Castiel stated simply and stared at him as if waiting for something.

Suddenly, all of the memories and feelings towards Erik from their first life hit him and instead of feeling energized, it made him feel like a piece of lead had dropped into his stomach. 

“I-I don’t like this feeling anymore.” Raoul panted. “I don’t want it.”

Castiel nodded. “That is good. While I cannot take it away, this is the first step towards forgiveness. Maybe in this next life, you will be able to watch over your third as you were meant to.”

“What will happen to Erik’s soul since it came here before it was supposed to?” Christine asked, biting her lip.

“He will live the remainder years of what he was supposed to in this past life. Because of this, I will warn you that his life is not going to be very long again.” Castiel informed them.

“Doesn’t matter.” Raoul declared and stood up shakily. “We will both try to move the mission along. I cannot say I forgive him yet, but I’m going to try my best to not let it interfere anymore.”

“Ah.” Castiel whispered with a pleased grin. She cocked her head to the side as her eyes lingered over Raoul’s frame. “Your soul has taken on such a lovely color.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it didn’t end completely depressing, at least I hope not. Anyone catch what Castiel meant in that last line? ;) Next chapter will be in Raoul’s POV and is the last chapter for Part 1. Don’t forget to leave a comment! See ya next time.


	6. Love Not Meant to Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1966-1984 – Venice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment Reply:  
> Amaru_saluky - lol Thank you for your comment. And yep, he's finally going to try, it was certainly a longer process for him than Christine. :)

“I have to admit, there is one good thing about Erik’s reincarnations.” Raoul stated as he and Christine took in the new location. The beautiful structures and the canals around them. “We are able to travel to many places we would never have been otherwise.”

Christine raised her eyebrow at him. “That’s what you’re taking from this.”

Raoul shrugged as the two of them made their way inside a hospital to go to Erik. “I’m trying, love. Castiel helped me open my eyes but it is hard.”

Christine kissed his cheek and pulled back with a small grin. “That’s all I hope for.”

In this life, Erik was once again loved by his father and hated by his mother. However, Erik’s father died a couple months after Erik had turned four and his mother abandoned him, running off to marry another man. Erik was left in the streets, his only companions were Raoul and Christine, whom he could not see but Raoul was certain the child could feel their presence sometimes. When danger was near, Christine would lead him away with her singing. For some reason, in this life Erik was able to hear her more than the previous ones. Raoul and Christine debated whether or not that it had something to do with the fact that in Erik’s last life, for the briefest moment, Erik had seen and recognized Christine before he died. Erik confirmed that he could hear them when he began humming a Swedish lullaby that Christine had often used to calm Erik down one time. There was no way for him to have learned the song anywhere else and in their excitement they tried to speak with him. However, it was not to be because Erik never gave any reaction towards their attempts at dialogue.

Still, they were grateful that some form of process had been made.

When Erik was upset, Christine would sing to him and Raoul would hold him. Christine used to be the one to do it but she was able to persuade him to make an attempt and since he promised to try he had reached to wrap his arms around the boy like he had seen Christine do countless times before. Much to his surprise, his arms did not go through Erik but instead stopped a few inches away from making contact just like how it did with Christine. Raoul had looked up startled by the occurrence and saw Christine’s ecstatic smile. After that, Raoul was the one in charge of comforting Erik that way. Christine did it too sometimes when Erik was terribly upset and needed both of them, but refrained when he not in that state.

After the initial shock went away, Raoul became fascinated his new ability. For the longest time, Christine had been the only one he was able to touch and while he could not completely do the same to Erik, it was interesting to play with. He learned that when he was not trying to do anything for Erik, he would pass right through him, but when he was trying to do an influence or comfort the child, his hands would stop inches away.

Erik lived on the streets until he was eight years old. He would sit on the sidewalks with a cheap cup out for money. He never stayed in the same place for very long, he would spend a few weeks at most in one area before moving to another part of the city. Raoul was sure that it was because Erik did not want to get picked up by the authorities. He would not steal, but instead earned money doing odd jobs and running errands for the owners of the shops around them. Sometimes those shopkeepers would question Erik about his life and when they did he would lie about having his parents but they were poor. If Erik felt that the owners did not believe him, he would move on.

He would also sing if he did not find jobs to do and was forced to spend the day on the sidewalk with his cup. Most people ignored him, however, as they walked by everyone’s pace slowed down, not being able to help themselves with such a lovely voice cutting through the everyday background noise. Some people gave him money, never a lot, but it was enough for Erik to not starve. Raoul often wished that his influencing power would work on other people. He would be able to get them to give more to Erik, he had tried that and it did not work.

It was because of his singing that finally got Erik off the street.

Erik had been singing a song he had created and an older man paused on the sidewalk. The man stared at Erik as he sung for a few minutes then walked away. However, the next day, the man showed up again, and again he stared at Erik for minutes before leaving.

“I’m suspicious about that man.” Raoul remarked to Christine on the man’s fifth stop. Raoul was standing on one side of Erik, with his hands clasped behind his back.

Christine nodded as she watched the man observe Erik from the corner of her eye. She was sitting on the ground on Erik’s other side, petting the air above Erik’s head.

“Sadly, there is not much we can do. Erik is going to move soon, maybe that’ll break the man’s attention.”

Raoul nodded but did not take his eyes off the man as he walked away for the day.

On the eighth day since the man began his observation of Erik, Erik was gathering his things to move to his next spot. It was early in the morning, while people were sleeping so that no one noticed Erik’s departure. Raoul heard the sharp sound of shoes on the cobblestone sidewalk and whipped his head around. It was the older man and he was walking directly towards Erik.

Raoul stiffened and he felt Christine do the same behind him.

The older man stopped a few feet away from where Raoul stood.

“Moving already?” the deep voice of the man asked.

“What’s it to you?” Erik demanded. “I have seen you around before. You might have thought I did not notice but I did. Are you with the police?”

The man held up his hands in a placating gesture. “I assure you I am not. Only a concerned man who wants to help a child who is obviously in need.”

Erik snorted. “I do not need help. I’m fine on my own.”

“I do not doubt it.” The older man reassured. “However, I would like to help. I’m a simple middleclass man and can certainly take care of another child.”

Erik suddenly looked unsure. “Another?”

“Yes, I have my daughter as well. Sadly, no wife but we get by finely.”

“Why would you wish to help me?” Erik questioned, his voice soft and Raoul could tell that his hostility was fading into curiosity.

The man pointed at the stack of books that laid at Erik’s feet. “Why do you use your money on books instead of food?”

Erik blushed and glanced away from the man. “I-I like learning. It’s not like I can attend school, so try to make do with books.”

“That’s why I want to help you.” The man declared with a friendly grin. “I see great things in you, boy. I would see it as a great tragedy to watch it go to waste.”

The older man held out his hand to Erik. “Will you let me help you?”

Erik stared at the hand while biting his lip. Raoul shot a look at Christine and saw her also biting her lip. Raoul elbowed her gently in the side and she quit chewing on her lip. He raised his eyebrow at her and she smiled sheepishly at realizing she had accidently been influencing Erik.

Erik stopped biting his lip and reached forward to clasp the older man’s hand.

The older man turned out to be the father of this life’s Antoinette. As soon as the two met, Erik and she got along splendidly. She was a couple years older than him, but they did not let that matter. Antoinette’s father brought Erik into the same school as Antoinette. He was bullied the first couple weeks but then Christine had influenced him to use the strength of wrath while Raoul used the bravery of humility. Erik had won the fight with his bullies and he was not messed with again.

Erik excelled in all his classes and skipped a few levels and by the time he graduated he was in Antoinette’s class. Through the years, Erik learned the most about music and would entertain the aging man with the skills he taught himself with his voice. When the older man got sick and Erik and Antoinette knew that he was not going to last must longer was the time Erik got his ring back to him in that life.

“Erik…” the surrogate father had stated softly as he laid in his bed. It was only him and Erik in the room and the older man gestured towards his dresser. “Can you bring me that small black box over on top? Yes that one.”

Erik brought over the box and as he made to give it over, the elder shook his head.

“Open it.” He instructed and Erik did as he was told.

Raoul saw the familiar onyx ring and wondered how in the world it could have gotten to Erik in this life.

“German man was selling it on the streets.” The older man told Erik, who was staring unblinkingly at the ring. “Can you believe that he sold it to me at such a low price? He looked like he was in trouble so I took pity on the man. This ring was the item that caught my eye. Strange how it made me think of you.”

“Thank you. I will treasure it always.” Erik vowed, pulling the ring out of the box and lifting it into the light.

“I was hoping you would use it as a certain gift for a special someone.”

Erik blinked in puzzlement at the man before understanding took over.

“Antoinette.” Erik whispered and Raoul’s mind went blank and he heard Christine inhale sharply next to him.

The older man nodded and took Erik’s hand in his. “I see you as my son, Erik, and wish for you to be part of this family legally. I know Antoinette has affection for you and you with her, is it too much to ask the two of you to be joined together under God’s eyes as well?”

Erik shook his head as if trying to clear it, Raoul felt the same.

Antoinette and Erik had formed an incredible bond over the years, but it was not one that was for lovers. When Erik were sixteen they had tried but could not go through with it. It had happened in the backyard of the house one night when Antoinette had brought the subject up. Erik had been curious and the two of them had shared their first kiss with one another. However, Erik had pulled back within a few seconds.

“I can’t.” he had announced softly, unable to meet Antoinette’s eyes.

“Why not?” Antoinette had asked lightly, but Raoul detected a hint of disappointment in her tone.

“I don’t know. I just…” Erik frown as he struggled for the right words. “Do not find it pleasant. It’s not your fault at all! But I don’t think it would work for any girl.”

Antoinette’s eyes had widen. “Do you mean to say that you…”

Erik’s eyes widened in return as he understood the implication. “No, no! I don’t think it would work for boys either!”

“You don’t think you could ever love me that way then?” Antoinette questioned with a saddened frown. It was her turn to look away.

Erik had quickly grabbed both of her hands in his. “My dear Antoinette, I can assure you that I have never felt such fondness and affection for anyone except for you. I highly doubt anyone would be able to take that away from you, but I will not see you unhappy because I’m a freak.”

Antoinette’s head jerked up and she yanked her hands out of his grip to grab his face between them.

“Never call yourself a freak!” she hissed at him. “You’re a genius, a musician, and a magician. Never a freak!”

“Forgive me.” Erik whispered gently, wrapping his hands around her wrists. “However, my lack of desire for such things still remains. I’m sorry, Antoinette.”

Antoinette nodded gloomy, taking her hands away. “I understand.”

After that, the two of them did not speak of it again and went back to their regular relationship. However, now Antoinette’s father was asking Erik to marry his daughter as his last wish.

The older man patted Erik’s hand. “If you do not feel that way towards one another, I will understand. I will not force anything on the two of you. However, I think it would be a grand idea for both of you.”

Erik nodded and soon left the room with the ring in his hand. To no surprise, Erik almost immediately told Antoinette what her father had said to him. The twenty year old shook her head in fond irritation.

“I swear that man. Trying to play the matchmaker this late into his illness.” She sighed as she folded laundry in her bedroom. One pile in front of her on the bed with a set of folded items next to the pile.

“I think he has always wished for us to end up together.” Erik replied with a frown as he sat on her bed facing her, taking one of his clothes items to help her.

“I wouldn’t doubt it.” Antoinette huffed as she shook a towel. “How do you feel about the idea?”

Erik looked up from his growing pile of folded items. “I’m more concern for you. You know I don’t feel the same things as others do, would you really commit your life to such a thing for the sake of your father? He said he wouldn’t mind if we denied him.”

“To have you by my side in the eyes of the law and God? I would gladly do it.” Antoinette stated simply enough that it took a second for Raoul to comprehend what she said.

Erik also appeared dumbfounded when the meaning of his friend’s words got through to him. He blinked a couple times before leaning forward and grabbing Antoinette’s hand to stop her folding.

“Truly?” Erik inquired in awe, his golden eyes showing a hint of worry that he had heard wrong. 

Antoinette brought the hand that Erik held up and used it to cup his face and smiled. “I have never cared for your appearance Erik. My love for you resides in the beauty that comes from your heart. I love you, Erik.”

If Raoul had a working heart, he knew that it would have skipped a beat at Antoinette’s confession. The woman was looking down at Erik with such love that Raoul could not deny the truth in her statement. But for some reason, it hurt.

“I love you too, Antoinette.” Erik replied with such sincerity that Raoul flinched back and ended up colliding into Christine.

He turned to look at her and saw a single tear slide down her cheek, her expression heartbroken. Hastily, he wrapped his arms around her and turned her away from the scene. He watched as Erik and Antoinette smiled brightly at each other and Erik pulled out the box that held the ring in it. Opening it, he presented the ring to Antoinette.

“I believe there is only one thing left to do.” Erik began, taking Antoinette’s free hand in his. “Dear Antoinette, will you marry me?”

Raoul’s chest ache at the question and felt Christine cringe in his arms at the sound of Erik’s voice. She let out a tiny whimper but refused to lift her head.

“Yes!” Antoinette exclaimed happily before grabbing Erik’s face again and kissing him on the lips.

At that point, Raoul had to turn away.

The wedding was scheduled to take place that fall, shortly after Erik was to turn nineteen. Antoinette’s father was of course overjoyed when he had found out that Erik and Antoinette were going to get married. The excitement seemed to prolong his life because of the energy the enthusiasm brought. It was planned to be a small wedding, one that only selective friends and family were invited to. Antoinette made Erik help with the planning, to which he was reluctant to do at first, but when he realized how much creativeness went into it he eagerly jumped in, much to Raoul’s and Christine’s dismay.

They hated the fact that their third was getting married, but could not do much about it. Christine had tried but then her guilt would make her stop. So they watched Erik and Antoinette prepare for the wedding. The only good thing about the whole thing was that Antoinette refused to wear Erik’s ring.

Erik had asked her why and she shrugged.

“I feel like it wasn’t meant to be worn by me, if that makes any sense. I tried and will wear it for the ceremony but I think you should be the one to wear it.” She explained.

Erik took her word for it and began wearing the ring on his left pinkie like he’s done previously.

A month before the wedding, a week before Erik’s nineteenth birthday tragedy struck.

Erik and Antoinette were walking down the street at night when there was a squeal of tires from nowhere. At the sound, Erik grabbed Antoinette to push her out of the way, but it was too late. A car slammed into Erik and Antoinette and they both crumpled underneath.

Christine let out a cry of horror and Raoul and she raced to the couple. The car stopped a few meters away and a man around their age climbed out and rushed over to them. Antoinette was lying unconscious, or at least Raoul hoped was unconscious, and Erik was struggling to speak to the man.

“My wife…look…my wife.” Erik stuttered at the man who was calling for help.

More people showed up and a couple looked over Antoinette. Raoul could see them shaking their heads and he realized that Antoinette was dead. Because of this, people tried to focus on Erik but Erik just kept repeating ‘my wife’ refusing to take the help.

Erik’s golden eyes blinked once more, then his breathing stopped completely.

Antoinette and Erik’s hands were still clasped together when the two left the earth realm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And…we’re done with part one! This chapter ending up being a lot longer than my normal updates, but I don’t think you’ll see that as a bad thing. The whole reason why I published this fic when I did was just so that I could have this chapter up on V-day.  I thought it was a good chapter to have on the holiday. 
> 
> Anyway, part one is now complete. Hope you enjoyed it. Part two will be up soon, and it’ll be a lot more like my usual style, with a few twists in, of course. Ought to be fun! Hope to see you all there! 
> 
> Don’t forget to leave a comment and I would love to hear what your favorite, or most emotional chapter was and why! I would love to hear my readers’ thoughts! See ya in part two!
> 
> Happy Valentine’s Day.


End file.
